“10,000 Words and Feelings” (for 10,000,000 ears)

graphic art by Robyn Eggs Winry
Model Winry 2018. Graphic edit by Robyn Eggs. co.2020

Stanza 1

As humans, we struggle

We miss the match

At last we huddle

Against the roads that crash

Against one another

We stay true

What was it like,

We wonder, to see the sky blue?

Was it all puffy clouds?

Or was nothing ever new?

Were there sounds?

Were they like something we never knew?

And so we try to replicate them

As we tap our shoes,

Us humans do…

Stanza 2

The tapping of the shoes

Rings true through the halls

Of the cave-like fortress

Where we hide in duress, against walls

Now moaning ensues

Like the sounds of the wind

Straight from the gut

We humans sing about terror and sin

As we’re stuffed in a barrel

Like sardines in a tin

Were there sounds?

Were they like something we never knew?

And so we try to replicate them

As we tap our shoes,

Us humans do…

Stanza 3

Let us pray the storm will pass

Let us pray that the apocalypse

Won’t last past another generation

We need to escape this barrel, this ellipse

Another generation won’t stand for it

We’ll have to peek our heads outside

But the last person to give it the slip

Never came back to give us a ride

And so I know that I am not the only one

Who thinks of how to escape, here inside

Was there light?

Was there something new to see?

And so we try to imagine them

As we close our eyes to see

What kind of humans we could be…

Stanza 4

The human struggle is all

But might and worth

Those two things

We can toss aside, in this sea of mirth

Each is watching the other

And for this we cannot blame

The deeds of one another

Inside this cave – they bear no shame

If only I could cum again

But when we’re the same, there is no flame

Was there light?

Was there something new to see?

And so we try to imagine them

As we close our eyes to see

What kind of humans we could be…

graphic art by Robyn Eggs boy on steps galaxy

Stanza 5

The only light came from the fire

Yet, there was no need to be near

We found that it could be imitated

By phosphorous, it was clear

The fortress was lined with it

From a time long ago

And we humans lie affected by it

On the floors of the bordello

Like so many sheep in a pen

We lie about everywhere, like jello

Was there a smell of outside?

Could we try to find it that way?

Always searching for a breath of freshness,

As we wend along the way –

All we know is the smell of decay…

Stanza 6

The tapping shoes mingle here and there

With the moans, the coos,

And the dirty underwear

Years and years of rags were used

Made into tents and stuff,

Burned up or covered in blood

Some of the rags made it into the walls

To stuff the holes that came from mud

But everywhere teemed humans

Hard, like the crust of the Earth, covered in crud

Was there a smell of outside?

Could we try to find it that way?

Always searching for a breath of freshness,

As we wend along the way –

All we know is the smell of decay…

Stanza 7

Yet, still you will find

An occasional human

In need of a hug

Like so many ruins

Time will never let us up

Will we always be in need of touch?

Will we always be human?

So soft, yet so tough

Will we find an opening?

And escape this den of lust?

Perhaps we will find again

The humans that left

Perhaps we will know the touch

Of something bereft

Of decay, of death…

Stanza 8

Searching, searching

One over the other

We trample each other blandly

In the dark sea of cover

In this cave, so lacking in wonder

Petroglyphs rest high above, on jutting rocks

Revealing how far down we have come

Now that the water has all been draught

We are searching for a part of ourselves

That has been eroded over time and lost

Perhaps we will find again

The humans that left

Perhaps we will know the touch

Of something bereft

Of decay, of death…

Stanza 9

And words mingle,

In the breath of passers by

Someone is standing next to me,

I did not notice until they said Hi

Hi, have you seen a way out yet?

They mutter to me lightly as if there was one

As if we hadn’t given up after the fall

Such a great shaking and the entrance was undone

Generations ago

Yet we forget like there never was one

Were there beasts to taste?

Like the ones painted on the ceiling?

I give myself up to the imagining,

My tongue is flooding with feeling,

And how, if so, what a rock I’d be wielding…

Stanza 10

As humans, we hunger

In a collective

We share what we find,

Which is subjective

Some days, fat little rodents

Will lose their ways in the dark

Only to be eaten,

Roasted over fire and spark

Sometimes an insect

Or worse, can be found in the dark

Were there beasts to taste?

Like the ones painted on the ceiling?

I give myself up to the imagining,

My tongue is flooding with feeling,

And how, if so, what a rock I’d be wielding…

Last Stanza

Someone’s done it

They’ve found us, no way!

Calls in the deep, give away what’s happening

I hear their words ricochet

“We’ve found you,” they call

I hear the others start to awaken

Sounds like they are amassing,

Standing up, suddenly shaken

They die down, getting distant,

From a dream, I waken

END


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Additional Ending

Will we wish for escape?

Even generations from now?

Will the feeling ever fade?

That we were once outside, and how –

How we got in here?

How did we become a crowd?

Humanity is slipping

But ever seems to hold its grasp

Over me and the humans

Trapped inside this mountain gap

Together the nonsensity

Has lasted

Eternally

It’s crass

And will remain burning,

Forever

In infinity,

An inferno,

Blazing bright

Like demons

Held without light

In fright

Clinging to one another

Wishing for flight

robyn eggs author pic square

Self-worth realization; A step in self-healing & guided meditation

Self-Worth Realization

An Original Novella, by Robyn Eggs – Creative Artist & Mother


Chapter 1

You have to love yourself before you can love life. There are many things you can do to remind yourself that you have meaning in life.

inspirational quote graphic art by Robyn Eggs
Graphic Art by Robyn Eggs. See Pintrest for more.

Follow these steps to release your anxiety, determine your needs, and heal your life:

1. You must take notice of your anxiety. Once you are aware of your anxiety, visualize it as a cluster of bubbles, clear and transparent. Then detach each bubble and blow it away, until there are none left. Each bubble was a worry. You are now free from the worries that have been dragging you down. Now that you have more space for what is positive, you are ready to accept yourself.

2. What makes you happy? Take time to partake of the pleasures you enjoy, such as going for a long walk, or painting. Let the creative aspect of your mind expand. Once you have filled your mind with appreciation, take a rest. Let your mind go; think about nothing, for as long as you wish. Thinking about nothing allows your mind to open up to the possibilities before you. The appreciation you have built up by doing as you please is allowing you to begin to love yourself by admiring your actions. Now that your eyes are opened, you are able to view your position in life.

3. Consider your needs. What has caused you to be in this position? It is helpful to write down the course of your actions. Start writing from a time when you remember being happy and finish at the present time. Through your writing, you will discover, and be able to list, your needs. These needs may consist of more time alone or with your family and friends, or possibly, just more time to have fun and let your mind rest. Once you have assessed your position and your needs accordingly, it is easy to determine what has led you to need healing.

By setting your standards too high, you tend to degrade yourself. Are you trying to fit into someone else; into their image or expectation of you? Is the media influencing your life too much?

Chapter 2

It may be helpful for you to analyze my own journey to self-worth realization. I first noticed I was in need of healing when I could no longer concentrate on what I was doing…I was also becoming incredibly absent-minded…

I went through the day lost and annoyed with the world’s actions, as well as my own. After a few days I discovered that I was affecting other people. I figured it must be because I was completely overwhelmed with what I was doing. So, I took time off to spend alone.

I planned a whole weekend of nothing. Every time I took a rest, however, my mind would think on the negative things that had happened to me that week. I would toss and mumble uncomfortably with my thoughts. Finally, I could not take it anymore. I realized that fretting over everything had altered my mind. I was dragging myself down with the negativity that had swelled into an ocean and was clinging to my back.

I decided I must seek something positive. I took my mind off troubles by performing simple actions such as cooking and gardening. This simplicity gave me peace and settled my mind. When I had escaped from my worries I turned to look back and saw that they were not really that big after all. In fact, what had been bothering me was merely a myriad of tiny annoyances that had stacked up like a brick wall…

I realized I needed to put the simple before the complex.

You cannot achieve complex before simple. you have to build up your self-esteem like a pyramid; a strong base is needed to build a high peak. The only way to attain self-worth realization is to start at the bottom of the pyramid, and work up.

1. Notice you anxiety
2. Release your worries
3. Take time to do what you want
4. Realize your needs
5. Give yourself what you need to heal

graphic art by Robyn Eggs blue swamp

Chapter 3

Once you realize your worth, to yourself, as well as others, you are one step away from complete healing

The last step is to realize that life loves you too.

Once you are existing in harmony with life, you are fully healed. Some people may wonder what the difference is between self-worth realization and self-realization. I’ll let you in on a little secret…I once asked a guru what self-realization was, and (in my own words), they said that self-realization is when you realize that you and the universe are one and the same. Self-worth realization is when you realize that you and the universe are worth the same.

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Unconsidered Congenialities

black makes black poetry collage art original
“Black Makes Black” Original poetry collage art upcycled by hand.

“Winter despairs us, no?”

Free-writing

highlighting

the loftiest heights of the lofty.

And then some.

And joy is the new year upon us

soft like recumbance

upon a warm Winter’s bed.

But solace and numerous 

loads of wood to carry

to and fro, in the snow

is the loftiest of loftiest

of all goals


Won’t you join us for something joyous

this New Year’s Eve?

Won’t you despair us with your parent’s

bedside woes?

For, underneath the mistletoe

loves grows.

And it grows.


Slowly but surely

the firelight glows.

And the tumbling bumbles

of Capricorn blow.

Among us, the daisies 

Blow kisses and make wishes

like fireflies falling in the snow.

And Winter has come –

A false Spring has arose.

And among the woeful willows

I reside and hide, gleefully full of snow…

tinkering, in the firelight,

as warm Winter winds blow softly

and the twilight glows.


Robyn Eggs artist tribute painting art
All original poetry by Robyn Eggs Copyright 2020